On Tuesday night the brand new contestants were given £250 to invest in fruit and veg and in the losing team….. one of them got fired. Before we get into that though, it’s time for an award. The cheesiest line ever to be used during The Apprentice goes to Melody, who – believe it or not – said;

“don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon”

It’s moments like this that make me so happy to be alive! Ok, I exagerrated slightly, but it did actually make me laugh out loud, and therefore I am fully justified in actually using LOL.

Speaking of Melody, she put herself forward for PM (that’s project manager of course, although I wouldn’t be surprised if she has put herself up for Prime Minister as well seeing as she seems full of shit, and seems to think she’s amazing at… well, everything!). The girls team now has a name…. Venture.

The boys opted for ‘Logic’, and Edward is PM after noone else volunteered themselves. Jim quietly put his hand halfway up and pathetically mumbled something about wanting to do it. If it was said with any less conviction though, well, he’d be mute.

Team Venture decide to make fruit salad as a breakfast product, and some kind of pasta dish. Team Logic opt for tomato soup and orange juice. Negotiations at Covent Garden market are as awful as you’d expect from Apprentice Candidates. One moment sticks out like a sore thumb, and that’s Jim (I think) negotiating a price on tomatoes with a woman who doesn’t have any tomatoes! Surely, anyone with even an ounce of sense would firstly ask a seller if they have any of the produce they need. Oh, I forgot, this is The Apprentice…

The girls actually made it out on the streets with their fruit salad and seemed to be selling a boatload. The boys however, are still attempting to hand squeeze 1400 oranges for their OJ after three juicers mysteriously ‘broke’. Maybe it was as a result of PM Ed telling Leon to “squeeze the balls” out of his oranges?

Despite a huge success with the fruit salad, the pasta lunch dish is not ready in time, and apparently tastes like shit. As a result Venture don’t start selling their lunch product until…. after lunch. Someone had the bright idea of marketing it as something to take home with them to have for their dinner.

The boys are finally out selling, and appear to be doing quite well. The orange juice is a winner – but in true Apprentice style they do not have enough after getting nowhere near the amount of juice they should have squeezed from those 1400 oranges.

In summary, they were all crap. Ed was possibly the worst PM I’ve seen on The Apprentice (sorry Ed!). There was no direction, no leadership, and certainly no communication. Apparently, a plan should now be shared on a need-to-know basis! No Ed, everybody on your team needs to know, that’s the basics of teamwork!

Melody appeared to be an ok PM, although she is rather annoying. I’m sure the same can be said about all the candidates, but Melody seems to think she is a cut above the rest of the world. In truth, she is just a normal woman, who is trying to be something she’s not.

Ed – not surprisingly – was fired, despite attemting to win survival with the most bizarre boardroom argument I’ve ever seen;

“Not only am I the youngest in the team, but the shortest!”

Brilliant!

Episode 2 I found very interesting as I’ve always wanted to create a smartphone app. In typical Apprentice style, it all looked far too easy so maybe I should start brainstorming ideas now!

Leon was team leader for Team Logic, and Edna took the position for Team Venture. The brief stated in no uncertain terms that the app would be GLOBAL. So, why did the boys decide to make an app that only UK users were ever going to ‘get’.

To be honest, I much preferred the boys’ app, and their pitch, and everything else they did on this task. But, this monumental error cost them dearly and the girls Ampi-App won by over 6,000 downloads. A highlight of this episode for me was Edna’s absolutely terrible pitch at the Earls Court Exhibition Centre. If you haven’t seen it, please watch it. David Brent (Ricky Gervais’ character in The Office) would have done it pretty much the same.

In the boardroom Leon showed weakness, when his original choice to ‘take back in’ – Jim – argued his case, and PM Leon changed his mind and bought in Glenn (who thought up the idea for the SlangaTang app). Respect goes to Jim for speaking up though, as it worked brilliantly.

Alex – who appeared to be playing a waiting game as he hasn’t done anything in these first two episodes – was fired. As Lord Sugar said, he is not looking to go into business with a passenger.

After two episodes in two days, I’m struggling with the idea of having to wait a week for the next one… a preview of which can be seen below;

Apparently – although I’ve not seen official word of this – this years Apprentice has a very slightly different format in that the winner of the show will NOT be rewarded with a £100,000 a year job with Lord Sugar, but will instead receive £250,000 to start their own business (with Lord Sugar as a 50% owner of the new startup).

There have been many who have said this is too similar to Dragon’s Den (another of my favourite shows), but I disagree. Dragon’s Den involves entrepreneurs pitching for investment in their business. The Apprentice however STILL involves business tasks that must be completed. The losing team STILL have to face the boardroom, and one of those team members will STILL get fired. The format hasn’t changed that much, just the ‘prize’.

I have no doubt that there will still be the standard bitching, backstabbing, and pure incompetence on show from those who are – supposedly – some of Britain’s brightest business prospects (a claim that usually worries me greatly every series!).

You can presume there will be at least one really annoying candidate – see Stuart Baggs. The girls will bitch about each other and shout and argue at every opportunity. This is not supposed to be a sexist comment, as I fully support women in business, but every series it happens – WITHOUT FAIL!

In tonight’s show the teams are given £250 to invest in fruit and veg. The team with the lowest profits will be faced with the boardroom, and as Lord Sugar will undoubtedly say, in that team one of you will get fired.

Here is a sneak preview of tonight’s episode of The Apprentice 2011 (courtesy of BBC);

Also, see this playlist on YouTube for the audition videos of the Apprentice 2011 candidates.

Discuss The Apprentice below… any favourite candidates?

Anyway, I thought I would share my favourite acts so far on this years Britain’s Got Talent. Maybe you agree with my choices, but if you don’t please do feel free to tell me yours;

Speaking of Saturday nights, I’m sure I would get plenty of attention if I could dance even half as brilliantly as Michael Moral – who incidentally is one of my favourites of the show so far. See this video, and let me know if you agree or disagree;

WOW…. I’m simply blown away by this. I love watching dancing, and am usually blown away by Body Popping (I think that is what this style of dance is called.. please correct me if I’m wrong!). It almost looks as though Mr Moral is inhuman (not to be mistaken with inhumane).

Just seeing the unbelievable control, and poise of a good ‘body popper’ is enough to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Absolutely amazing.

See my next favourite on the following page

So, we have had to wait until now for the unmissable BBC business reality show to start. Another series full of so-called intelligent people making the most basic – and usually unbelievable – mistakes in various business tasks. The winner of the show gets hired by Lord Sugar to work within his company for a six-figure salary.

Before we get to this point, we will undoubtedly hear a lot of arguing, bitching, deceit, and finger pointing. All this mixed with the unmistakable sound of each contestant being asked to leave with the simple words…….. “you’re fired”.

Stay tuned for more news and reviews on The Apprentice 2010 to come over the next few months.

Answers on a postcard please – or alternatively, and probably the better option, post them in the comments section below!

Now, I’ve never been a fan of Louis Walsh. He’s not funny, and not cool. But, he has made money and had huge success with Westlife and Boyzone so guess I shouldn’t be so judgmental, right? Ok, I will…

What the hell is he doing putting through the two most cocky, arrogant, and damn right annoying people I have ever seen appear on the X Factor. I am already praying – despite the fact I am not religious in the slightest – that the idiots are booted out next week. I’m sure that deep down they are nice guys – actually, I’m not certain of that at all. What I mean, though, is that they could be out killing people or something, but they’re not.

What is even more frustrating, is that not only are they annoying, but also not very good at singing – and look ridiculous too. Or, maybe I’m just getting a little old? I’m approaching 30 now after all, so maybe I just don’t ‘get’ the youth of today anymore!!

So, this is my one man campaign to PLEASE vote them out the competition next week – presuming it’s possible of course. Feel free to join my campaign by posting below! If you need a little inspiration, here’s a video for you;